Contest 1: $20 GC

If you can receive a PayPal payment, you can enter!
(US-ians, Canadians, Most Europeans, Australians, More)

Donated by Phoenix Sullivan

Contest Rules

This is an easy way to win 20 bucks. All you have to do is complete the following in 15 words or less (technically, that should be "15 words or fewer" but really, yuck):

Evil Editor is like _____________.

Has EE ripped apart your query in the past? Added -- horrors! -- cartoons to your critique? Or tables? Maybe he never uses your Guess the Plots. Or he passes over all your continuations. Here's your chance to draw on five years worth of his rejecting you (OK, technically, your writing -- but really, we know better), and others like you (ditto), to fuel your creativity.

And creativity is what we're looking for. Channel your inner suck up, snark or -- well, your call. Just remember, EE will still be around in the morning.   

Limited to 3 entries per person.

All contests open through 6:00 pm Mon, Apr 25 (New York Time) - Winners will be announced Tuesday.

23 comments:

Sarah Laurenson said...

nothing in this (or any) Universe. He is uniquely and stupendously amazing!

Sarah Laurenson said...

buddah! Doncha know.

Slush said...

a barrel of scotch. Aged, smooth, and if you're not careful you'll drown in it.

Steena Holmes said...

my neighbor drunk on cheap wine - shocking, comical, brilliantly sarcastic and a good romp all around

Jenni Merritt said...

Evil Editor is like... the grumpy grandpa who I love and watch but am thoroughly scared to talk to.

Peter Dudley said...

Evil editor is like a guy with a web site who critiques queries and stuff, and is funny.

fairyhedgehog said...

... pistachio ice cream. Looks green and mouldy but tastes delicious.

Metaphorically speaking of course.

Evil Editor said...

...a bad analogy. Highly irritating when first encountered, and even more so the more you think about it.

Phoenix Sullivan said...

Hey, wait! Is the Guest of Honor even allowed to win a doorprize? I need a ruling, please. Is Miss Manners in the house?

fairyhedgehog said...

Tricky one! It seems a bit mean if he can't get a prize, though. Mean, or even evil.

Miss Manners said...

One considers that the one being honored has prize enough in his friends' attendance. While the guest of honor should be as eligible to have fun as any of those honoring him, he should understand that the prizes are meant for the attendees. Otherwise, why would anyone show up?

Phoenix Sullivan said...

Wow, thanks, Miss Manners!

And shoot, EE -- you do have friends in all the right places, don't you?

Robin B. said...

.....Sherlock Holmes on a drunken tear, rippin' ya apart to come to his conclusions.

no-bull-steve said...

EE is like...

"old feet. Gnarled and unsightly but well traveled and best when elevated."

Robin B. said...

Good one, Steve! Ha!

Chris Eldin said...

Evil Editor is like a ham sandwich after Mardi Gras. Hot, forbidden meat.

Robin B. said...

Ha!

Phoenix Sullivan said...

OK, I couldn't do it. Choosing one is like rejecting all the others and I just couldn't do it. I caved. I resorted to the trusty Random Number Generator. It makes a super-handy scapegoat. I make it do the dirty work, then can point to it and wash my hands of the decision.

Also... WHY wouldn't everybody enter the contests for money-equivalents??? I can see people already having the complete John G collection, thinking they're too old to play with poppets (no one's ever too old, though), not needing a crit, or not being a journal-ist. But money? Do people have so much of it, they don't want more? (And if you're one of those people, will you be my friend?)

Lucky for YOU guys, that improves the odds of YOU winning. Plus a couple of folk recused themselves. So, 9 entries total.

And the person who beat those low odds is ... #2

Oh, you want a name. Spreadsheet says ... Sarah!

Sarah, email me (phoenixsullivan@yahoo.com) and let me know if you'd like an Amazon or B&N gift card or for me to pop $20 in your PayPal account. And let me know what email you'd like your prize sent to.

Fun reading everyone! Thanks for playing!

Sarah Laurenson said...

Um, wow. Thanks, Phoenix.

Can I request it go to Shambala? I've been a docent there for years and they do great things for the big cats on a shoestring budget.

Phoenix Sullivan said...

Sarah, it's my pleasure to donate the prize to the Shambala sanctuary. I added in another $10 too.

The receipt (with my real name blocked out), along with one of my favorite photos, can be found here.

Don't scroll too far down. Bad memories await you there.

Sarah Laurenson said...

Aw. That's a cool photo.

Thanks for the donation!

(And thanks for the warning not to scroll too far down. LOL)

no-bull-steve said...

Nice! Glad the prize was donated!!!

Matt said...

I didn't enter because I couldn't think of anything clever...only to find you used a random number generator!